Chapter 4: Jarrett's Place

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After getting in Jarrett's car, we drove to his place in pretty much silence. It wasn't because I didn't want to talk to him, it's more I just didn't want to snap at him. I knew how my temper could get at times. We pulled up to the apartment building that Jarrett lived in. I took in the ocean view as I got out of the car, "Nice view, Jarrett. Reminds me of my dorm, our room overlooks water too." I nodded my head in the affirmative. Jarrett then took us inside of the building and to the place he called home. I kicked off my shoes and hung up my hoodie in a spot where he told me that I could hang it. I walked over to the couch that I would be sleeping on tonight and planted my butt down on it, it was soft. "Thanks for giving me some place to stay tonight, Adam just really set me off with something he said. I knew it was best that I got away from him before we came to blows, because we were almost there. And just by the way, I promise not to hit on you, I figure Adam gave away the fact that I'm gay already." It would not surprise me if he had. Not because he was mean-spirited or anything but because he felt like openness was a magical thing and he had been drinking. Adam's lips became very loose when he had one too many.

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I heard Russ took about my view and how it was similar to his back in the States; which made me smile and he thanked me for giving him a place to stay tonight. "..It's not a problem Russ, I wanted to. I may have only know you for a short time, but I wouldn't want anything to happen to you; you know? You want a drink or something?" I said, I had some vodka and coke, it may treat some of the sting of what happened, and he said that'll be cool. I smiled, as I put my stuff down and hung my coat up. Still in my trainers, I headed into the kitchen to prepare our drinks. I listened to what Russ was saying, as he sat down on my couch, and revealed to me the fact he was gay and that his friend Adam must have told me by now promising he wouldn't try it on with me. I chuckled a bit listening to him shaking my head from side to side: "..Actually mate; he didn't." I replied, as I looked over my shoulder at him, as he had a look of pure surprise on his face. "..I think, you shouldn't assume too much about you friend, dude." I advised with a grin finishing up our drinks.

I turned my kitchen lights off and turned on the main living room lights; before walking into it with our drinks in hand. I handed Russ his, as I stood in front of him. "..Plus, I already suspected; you was." I said flashing a gentle smile, before sitting down on my coach next to him; as he had this expression on his face like he was about to ask, how I knew. "..Before you ask me, how it's not really a big secret. I've been Spain a few years now; my friend and I've developed quite the gaydar, when it comes to holiday peeps; tourists and so forth. So when, I saw you two; I had my suspicions." I confessed. I leaned back against the back of my coach with my glass in my hand looking over at Russ with a smile, as I slowly slipped off my trainers and kicked them under my coffee table. "..Plus, I saw your friend; Adam getting up close and personal with one of the guys on the dance-floor; so that confirmed it for me about him." I laughed a little to myself and took a sip of my drink.

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I stretch my legs out as I sip on the water that Jarrett brought me. So, he already knew or he thought he knew based on his own personal gaydar and how Adam was. I nodded my head as I spoke, "I don't knock Adam, but I know how he gets when he's been drinking. Plus, he had been telling me that I needed to go to you so I figured he might say something. A little surprising but it is what it is." I nod my head in the affirmative. It wasn't like I was in the closet or something, I had been out for a long time now. "And Adam isn't gay, he's bisexual, but I think he was getting more on guys tonight to try to get me to get with someone. You're a nice guy, Jarrett, so don't think I'm knocking you at all. What about you, are you straight, bi or gay, since you deflected when I asked you earlier?" I looked at him, wondering what his answer might be.

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I raised my eyebrow, as I took a swig of my vodka and coke slowly. "..He did; did he? So why didn't you? You know; go for me?" I said with a smirk. "..Bisexual, huh? Cool. Maybe, he was." I grin, "..As for, what my sexuality is? A little personal, don't you think?" I said with smile, as I took another sip of my drink: "What do you think; I am?" I said with a playful smile wondering; what he thought my orientation was and, why he didn't go for me like his friend had been pushing him to do; it seems.

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He was asking me to guess his sexual orientation? Oh I did not want to do that, that could mean a lot of problems to say the very least. I take a deep breath and speak, "I have no idea, honestly. I don't think I have gaydar or anything that could help me with guessing. I usually assume cute guys that I've found attractive are straight, so I guess I would guess straight. So, are you going to tell me, Jarrett or are you going to leave me in suspense?" I lean back on the couch and take a sip of my water. Was he straight, bisexual or gay? I had absolutely no idea, I just hoped he might clue me in.

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I chuckled a little to myself, "..So you think; I'm cute do you?" I smirk taking a sip of my water. "..Well, if you want to know; then why don't you take your friend's advice for a change and go for it with me? I promise you, I won't ask you to leave or anything. I'm too much of a nice guy for that." I smile. "..So you going to give it a shot or not? You only live; once right?" I said with a friendly smile; as I finished up taking another swig of my drink.

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I shake my head back and forth, what was it with people wanting me to do things? It was driving me insane, couldn't people just answer questions and what not? "Because that wouldn't be right, Jarrett. I mean kissing a guy you've just met, especially one you don't know the orientation of just seems like a bad idea. But if it'll make you happy, I'll do it," I nod my head and take a deep breath in. I let it out before leaning in and planting a kiss on Jarrett's lips. Not a long one because I didn't want to press my luck, especially if he was either straight or not interested. I look at him as I speak, "Well?"

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I licked my lips slowly with a grin on my face at the light kiss; I had just received from Russ. I kept my eyes on him maintaining my grin; as I took a sip of my drink. Russ kept looking at me anxiously awaiting my reaction; I smirk to myself: "..That wasn't much of a kiss now was it; Russ?" I smirk again, "..I'm sure you can do better then that; especially if you want to know, which team I play for!" I chuckle, "..So how about you try it; one more time; but this time with feeling or I can't tell you; what you want to know.." I grin proudly to myself wondering; if Russ will do better second time round, if he really wants to know; which way I play.

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Must resist urge to punch something....must resist urge to punch something. Could he and Adam be working together on tormenting me here? I mean he asked me to kiss him to get an answer but now I've got to do it better? "Seriously? Dude, if you know Adam and I find out about it, I will kill the both of you. ARGH!" I wanted to throw my hands up in frustration, this was driving me absolutely nuts. I stare at him and take another deep breath. I lean in and press my lips to his, but this time not pulling back right away. I press my tongue against his lips and he allows me to enter, I don't know if that was an answer or he just wanted a better effort. My tongue went into his mouth and I kissed him with a little more passion this time, and for a bit longer this time before pulling back. I licked my lips and spoke, "Can I get an answer now, Jarrett?" I looked at him, hoping this time he'd finally give me an answer to my question.

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I was speechless for a minute, as Russ's second attempt to find out; who I play for ended. I snapped out of it, as quickly as possible and smiled at Russ. "..Much better dude. And just for the record, I don't know Adam. I wanted to see, how far you'd go for an answer." I grin, "..Your a good kiss Russ; when you want to be. You tasted good." I smirk to myself, before I took a swig of my drink and then put it down on the coffee table; after sitting up on my couch looking over at Russ; who asked me, if he could get his answer now. I smiled a little, "..I'm straight, dude. I actually just broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago." I smile at him. "..So, there you have it dude. You know, my big secret now. But let me ask you.. I said leaning back against my sofa with in a vertical position having now moved one of my legs onto the sofa and bent my knee. I looked over at Russ: "..How did it make you feel; you know just going for me without thinking about what my orientation was? And would you do it again, I wonder?" I asked confidently raising my eyebrow a little.

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Chalk one up for me being right, I knew he was straight, I just knew it. Maybe I did have some semblance of gaydar after all. "It made me feel like I feel right now, dumb. It was dumb to do it and now I feel even dumber knowing that you're straight. People think it's fun and games to play with my head but it's not." Yeah, this Spain trip was turning out to be a nightmare. I had fought with my best friend and ended up staying with a straight guy who made me kiss him so I could learn he was straight. "Can you just go to bed now, Jarrett? I really want to be alone right now, more so than ever." And once I finished saying it, I looked away from him. I hadn't felt this embarassed and low as a person in quite some time, probably as low as when Clay turned down my proposal. It's not a fun feeling and it's definitely not one you want to share with others.

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I listened to What Russ had to say; how he felt low; dumb and embarrassed. I felt a little bad, but I had to know for myself. I looked away from him down at the ground, he wanted to be alone; I heard him say. "..I will, if you err--" I took a deep breath; and exhaled nervously, "..came with me, Russ." I said closing my eyes with a serious tone in my voice. I took another deep breath wondering, what he would say.

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My ears darted up as I cocked my head up, did he just ask me to go to bed with him? I shake my head slowly as I respond, "I don't do straight guys, Jarrett. If you wanted to take a guy to bed, you should have asked Adam, he would have gladly done it." I nod my head, Adam had been eyeing up Jarrett all night long in the club. He would have loved nothing more than to go to bed with a straight dude. Probably would have made his night, "Right now, I'd just like to go to sleep and forget today ever happened. Especially since next time I see Adam, I'm going to have egg all over my face because I not only flirted with but kissed a straight dude. Good night, Jarrett." I nodded my head before laying on my side on the couch. Tonight wasn't going to be a good night for sleeping but the longer I stayed awake, the more I would end up dwelling on what had just occured. That was not a good idea, not in the least.

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I sighed, as I got up off my couch and looked over at him. "..You don't understand, Russ. I'm sorry, if I upset you. I'll get you some covers and a pillow; then leave you be." I said poignantly, before turning on my heel taking my drink with me. I guess, I'm the embarrassed one now, eh? I kept thinking to myself; as I entered my bedroom and walked to furtherest end of my bedroom; after putting my drink down on top of my bedside cabinet and furiously punched the wall, as a surge of pain passed threw my entire hand and body. I groaned a little pressing my forehead against the wall and closed my eyes for a second angry at myself. I soon snapped out of it and opened my eyes; as I shook out my hand a little to soothe some of the lingering pain. I walked over to one of my wardrobes and opened the door to pull out an extra set of covers and a pillow for Russell. I then closed it, and returned to the living room, where Russell was still laying on his side wide awake. I looked down at him for a second placing the covers on top of my couch.

"..Here it gets cold in here in the early hours. Russell, I--" I couldn't finish my sentence, as Russell didn't respond at all. "..Night then, dude." I sighed a little to myself, as I walked away turning off the living room lights and entered my bedroom closing the door behind me. I rubbed my forehead feeling stupid; I wasn't even thinking about Russell's feelings earlier. I'm such an idiot. I turned on my bedside lamp and just sat down on the edge of my bed and looked down at the carpet rubbing my hands together slowly. "..Shit." I cursed, under my breath: "..Stupid, fucking..idiot!" I dissed myself with a angry groan; before standing up almost instantly off my bed and pulled my work shirt off over my head and then threw it across my room revealing my naked and atheltic; muscular torso underneath. I then turned around at least a full 180 degrees running my fingers through my short; dark brown hair. I looked up at the ceiling for a second and closed my eyes looking down a few seconds after and kicked the carpet of my bedroom lightly, as I started to unbutton my jeans and unlock my belt to finish getting ready for bed.

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I was laying on the couch after Jarrett left and I could have sworn something heavy hit the wall. Did he trip or something but I wasn't going to go running to his aid. When he brought the pillow and blanket, I could see his hand was suddenly much redder than it was before. Had he hit the wall? Why would he do that? It's why I didn't respond to him, other than the fact that I was kind of upset right now. Something wasn't adding up here but I had no idea what it was. I was trying to get my eyes to shut to go to sleep when something happened. My bladder decided to give me a swift kick which made my body shoot up. I needed to use the bathroom but I had absolutely no idea where it was. Did he have one outside of his bedroom? Well, I wasn't going to guess, I was just going to go ask. I rolled myself back into a sitting position as I got up the couch and walked down the little hall to where Jarrett had come from earlier. I knocked on the door, "Jarrett? I have a question," I said but he didn't come to the door quickly enough so I tried the knob. It was unlocked and I turned it, only to see Jarrett starting to begin taking off his pants. I quickly adverted my eyes, "The booze and water are catching up to me. I was wondering if you could show me where the bathroom is? Sorry for intruding, but when you gotta go, you gotta go." I was doing everything in my power to keep my bladder in check. I just hoped he would point me in the right direction of a bathroom so I could pee.

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I finished unlocking my belt and unzipping my jeans, when I heard my door open and Russ's voice. I quickly turned my attention to him leaving the front of my black boxer briefs exposed to Russell. He asked me about the bathroom, and I smiled a little. "Oh right, yeah..through there, dude. Sorry, I should have said so earlier." I pointed Russell in the right direction at the end of the left side of my bedroom ; since the bathroom was an en-suite part of my bedroom. He thanked me and was trying not to look at me; and headed into the vacant bathroom closing the door behind him. I followed his movements up to that point, I then just sat back down on the edge of my bed and reached for my drink, and took a large swig of it; I think I needed it.

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I went into the bathroom and turned on the lights, it was a nice bathroom, well-kept. Told me something about Jarrett or so I liked to think. I flipped up the toilet seat, and unzipped my jeans before fishing my dick out of my underwear. I let out a nice stream of piss into the bowl, making sure nothing splashed out. I then finished, putting my dick away and flushing. I put the seat back down and walked back over to the sink, looking at myself. I wasn't a bad looking guy so why did I keep running into such bad luck with guys? "Is it really that hard for you to find a good guy, Russ? Or are you unworthy of love after all?" That was one of my biggest lingering doubts in my mind, especially after separating from Clay. Was I really worth loving? I tried not to dwell on it as I turned on the sink and washed my hands with the soap on the counter. I finished, turning the water off and then drying my hands. I walked back into the bedroom area of Jarrett's as I spoke to him, "Thanks for showing me where the bathroom was. Good night, Jarrett, sleep well." I wasn't one to hold a grudge, and maybe he had thought about things, especially if he punched the wall. I turned away from him and started to make my way out of the room.

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I watched Russ come out of the bathroom sitting on my bed still; I put my drink back on my bedside counter. Russ thanked me for showing him; where the bathroom was: "No problem." I said, as we smiled faintly at one another and with a nod Russ started to head towards my bedroom door. I kept tapping my foot, and I then sighed. "Russ..wait!" I said almost shooting off my bed and grabbing his arm gently turning him around to face me. "I'm so sorry, Russ. I'm an idiot. I am seriously.." I sighed, "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just--just.." I sighed again letting go of his arm and turned away walking a couple steps away from him. "Just, what Jarrett?" Russ asked me.

"What's going on here?". I looked around my bedroom taking the odd deep breathes here and there; and then exhaling nervously. I looked up at the ceiling, then down again: "Fuck it.." I murmured to myself; under my breath and turned around quickly heading right over to where Russ was standing and just pressed my lips up against his strongly coaxing his mouth open with my tongue with both my hands on the sides of his face. I could feel Russ resisting me a little, but I just kissed him a little deeper locking my tongues with his briefly. Before slowly pulling my lips away from his; and pressing my forehead up against his and breathing a little shallow. "Russ..please just let me explain. Please.." I said running my fingers gently down the sides of his face slowly. "J-Just don't hate me, okay?" I said almost pleading with Russ a little. I didn't want him to be mad at me; when he didn't understand fully.

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I was in a total state of shock, what was going on here? The guy tells me he's straight, basically making me feel like an idiot. But now he's kissing me and this isn't like an innocent kiss, this is full on kissing. And now he's asking me not to hate him for kissing me. Can you say wave of confusion for Russel, because I sure as hell can. I look into his eyes as I speak, "I don't hate people, Jarrett. Ok, that's a lie, I have hated people but that takes a long time to get to. Right now I'm confused." I took my forehead away from his so that I could nod my head. I was very much confused as to what was going on here. I took his hand and walked back to his bed as we both sat on the edge of it. I looked over at him and spoke, "Okay, you need to explain, Jarrett. So, go ahead and do it." I nod my head again, but this time not to say yes or emphasize a point. This time it's to encourage him to explain, so I could understand what was happening here.

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I looked over at Russ, as he kept hold of my hand. It was comforting strangely. I looked away from him slowly thinking about everything; I hadn't told anyone, what was most likely about to tell Russ. This was so hard for me; I had to take a deep breath and looking up for a minute, before exhaling and lowering my head again. I squeezed Russ's hand gently; before turning my attention to him and nodded to myself. "Okay." I replied lowering my eyes for a moment looking at carpet not wanting to look at Russ right away just yet. "I've never told anyone else; before." I sniffed a bit, and looked over at Russ: "I-Erm-Oh god..this is so hard." I said trying to suck it up and get a grip.

"I had this friend. He was really great fun to be around, and you know he got on with everyone. I met him at work; one night actually and we kinda just hit it off, as you do. I had been seeing my girlfriend for about a year, when he started to come between Tara and I. Tara used to argue and fight with him all the time. She seemed to have got into her head that he was trying to take me away from her; so he could have me all to himself. She used to have a go at me; most nights saying, I was spending too much time with him and I had to stop being friends with him or she'd leave me. I didn't understand, why she was getting so worked up about a mate of mine. Then apparently; one night she saw at a club down-town, while I was working and was getting it on with some guy confirming to her that he was gay. Tara was a huge homophobe; you know being a Christian woman and all. She told me the following night and I said, she was nuts and Gary wasn't gay; I would have known. So I told her to get out and stop spreading her vicious lies. A week or so later, I decided to ask Gary myself and he said that he was and that he was sorry, he didn't tell me before then he went as far as to say he loved me. I was shocked; I didn't know what to say. Strangely though, I didn't care. He was like my best friend; you know. Yeah I was mad at him for not being honest with me from the start. But he said he was sorry and he hugged me; I hugged me back saying it was okay and that. Next thing, I know our hug is coming to an end and his leaning in-towards me to kiss me and I knew, what was happening but I just didn't stop it. I was so confused, as to why I was letting him do this to me. So he and I ended up kissing and I wasn't even resisting. Tara came storming into my apartment wanting to talk to me and caught us kissing and she went nuts. She charged at him and pushed me out of the way and started assaulting him. I pulled her off him, but she wasn't having it and low blowed me. She then grabbed a knife that was on the table, just as a slightly bloody Gary was getting to his feet and as he turned, she charged at him and stabbed him right in the heart! Right in front of me; I couldn't believe my eyes. I watched Gary fall to the floor coughing up some blood. Tara just watched him die with this evil look on her face, she wasn't even remorseful. I rushed over to Gary, as she just ran off. I pulled the knife out trying to stop the bleeding and called for an ambulance, but I was too late. He died a few minutes after right in my arms."

I felt my eyes starting to water, just talking about it all again and remembering Gary covered in his own blood dying in my arms. I couldn't speak any more, it was like my throat had closed up and I couldn't breathe. I looked at Russ, as a tear started to fall down the side of my face. "I'm sorry, Russ--I can't--" I quickly got off the bed and headed into the bathroom closing the door behind me, and just cried quietly to myself leaving Russ in my room for the time being.

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I was sitting on the bed, still confused about what was going on with Jarrett, why he was playing this hot and cold thing with me. Then he started in on his story, and at first, I thought maybe this Gary guy did make him confused about things. But as he went on, there were pangs in my heart. I could hear the pain in his voice, the anguish, the hurt. To lose your best mate and your girlfriend all in one big swoop, that would be hard for anyone to take. But having someone die in your arms, I have absolutely no idea how he kept it all together for so long. He then shot off to the bathroom and I quickly got up and made chase. I pulled the door open and quickly wrapped my arms around Jarrett. "I'm sorry Jarrett, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you're feeling but I know what it's like to carry a burden around. And because you shared your deepest secret with me, I'm going to share mine with you." I nodded my head as I sat Jarrett down on the toilet. The seat was still down so he could sit on it comfortably.

I then looked at him and took a deep breath. I took my pants and the work shirt of his that he had given me. I turned my back to him so he could see the cuts and scars I had all over my back. I wasn't looking at him as I started to tell my story, "My parents were the social elite, always pushing me to be the best. What people didn't know was that my Dad beat the shit out of me for anything less than an A. He would whip my back and press knives to my skin when I did not achieve perfection or near enough to it." My body tensed up, just thinking about it. I knew he had probably seen enough of the scarring for now so I turned around to face them. "But when they saw me kissing the neighbor boy, totally innocently, they freaked and kicked me out of the house and I ran. That's when I was found by Clay, the only person I've ever been with, my ex. He took me in, helped me get on my feet and there's a lot more to the story but telling you it all right now would be too much for either one of us to handle. I just want you to know that I know what it's like to feel pain, and I'm willing to be here for you right now, if you want me to be." I nodded my head as I looked at Jarrett, wondering what was going through his mind right now.

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I was in a state of pure disbelief right now, after seeing all those scars over poor Russ's body. How could a parent do that to their own son? And kicked him out too for being gay? That's not right, I thought to myself. As I wiped a tear from my eye, "I am so sorry Russ. They must have been awful for you; I could never imagine what that was like for someone like you. Come here.." I said sniffing, as slid off onto my knees meeting Russ down there on the floor and I hugged him. "I wish, I could have done something for you, if I knew you back then. Thank you for telling me. I guess, we've both had our fair share of pain and heartache." I continued to hug Russ tightly, "And I'm willing to be here for you too, if you want me to be. You're kinda stuck with me now." I said with a brief chuckle feeling Russ hugging me back just as tightly.

We slowly started to pull away each other other, as I ripped myself off a tissue and dried my eyes feeling a little embarrassed about crying in front of my new friend. He smiled a little taking the tissue from me and finishing those last few dried tears off. I looked down and sniffed to myself, as I found the palm of my hand placing itself on Russ's now shirtless toned torso; exactly where his heart was located. He stopped drying my face, and looked down at my hand and then back up at me as we made eye-contact with one another. Russ rubbed the side of my arm gently, after dropping the tissue momentarily for now. We found ourselves leaning slowly forwards and pressing our foreheads together; which saw the closing of our eyes. I felt my hand moving up Russ's chest some more and slide onto the side of his neck; as I felt Russ's hand do the same thing with me. We kept pulling our lips back from the other's without making contact, before we just felt compelled to give in and gently pressed our lips up against each other's at the same time, and slowly began to kiss the other passionately. It soon intensified and deepened largely, as we felt our tongues slide in perfect unison inside the other's mouth and smoothly locking in place the other's tongue. The passion was off the charts, I had never felt anything like it. My hand moved round to the back of Russ's head and pulled him closer into my lips. Russ shifted his body closer to mine moving his hand around to the back of my head also and kissed me harder.

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Standing there in my underwear with Jarrett was something I wasn't expecting but we both needed to tell each other the things that were making us act the way we were. Those walls just came down and just looking at him, I felt a connection. He touched my heart, metaphorically and literally, and it didn't take long for me to kiss him. And this was not an ordinary kiss, this was one with a ton of passion. If sparks could fly around Jarrett and I, I would have had a feeling that they would have. The kiss lasted awhile, both of us let the other take control during parts of it, Jarrett was into it as much as I was. I finally let go and pulled back, looking at him and smiling, "Wow, that was just wow." I definitely was not expecting that at all. Especially after how upset we both were a few moments before. My eyes were locked onto his as I spoke to him again, "Is that offer to come with you to bed still open? Because if it is, I'd like to take it." I said with a soft nod of my head and smiled back at him. I then took one of his hands and wrapped it in mine to make the point firmer.

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I smiled softly at Russ; my body was in-shock right now. That kiss was just explosive; I had never felt anything like that before. It was intense. I felt the warmth of Russ's hand wrap with my own, it was soothing and strangely calming. I felt hot; all of a sudden and a little out of breath. I placed my free hand on the side of Russ's face, as I kissed him lightly again; which was brief. "Yeah, yeah..of course it is. Nothing would make me happier right now." I smiled at him kissing him briefly on his lips again as I slowly stood up keeping our hands locked together. I turned the bathroom light off, and lead Russ back into my bedroom. We reached the side of my bed, as I used my free hand to place behind Russ's head and pressed my forehead against his again. I bit my lower lip and smiled softly at him. "So, Err--heh..what side do you want?" I asked Russ with a playful grin.

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This moment that Jarrett and I were beginning to share was becoming very, very cute. Maybe that was because it was a real thing, not something that goes down between two individuals before sex or something. The moment was special and I was enjoying it. I smiled at him and spoke in response, "Why don't I take the other side? You seemed to be getting comfortable on this side of the bed when I came in." I gave Jarrett another soft kiss on the lips before crawling across the bed to the other side. I laid down there, looking over at him as I spoke, "Did you want to actually get some sleeping done or did you want to do more? Because I'm open to either one right now." I bit my lower lip playfully while looking at Jarrett. I did want him right now but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable either.

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» Chapter 3: Out And About
» Chapter 3: My Day Off
» Chapter 5: The Morning After
» Chapter 2: After The Jog
» Chapter 2: In Spain